Post by gogina on Apr 4, 2008 15:12:03 GMT -5
Rejection!
By Gogina
By Gogina
A/N: This is an angst fic. I seem to be writing more and more of these.
Disclaimer - I don’t own Yu-Gi-Oh, or any of the characters.
Summary - Yami can’t get to Yugi, but it’s not for the reason you may think. YYxY. Yami’s P.O.V.
I hear you crying out to me and I wince as every cry becomes more desperate than the last. Over and over again you scream my name and I hang my head in shame for I cannot answer you even if I wished to. For I no longer belong in this world that you have tried to introduce me to, so I stay in the Puzzle, watching with a heavy heart as you go through life without me.
Occasionally, you call to me through our link, hoping I’ll answer and every time I hear your voice, I bite my tongue, knowing I will never again be able to look into your smiling face and feel my heart leap with every beat it takes. You’re calling to me again and once again I block out the sound of your angelic voice. Another scar appears on my heart along with a wave of sadness. Aibou, if only I could hold you in my arms once more, but I must keep this secret to myself. I must not taint your precious spirit.
/Yami?/
You keep calling for me and my spirit longs to answer your plea. My hand shakes as I lock the door to my soul room, preventing you from entering and me from leaving. I feel a presence and immediately know that you’ve entered your soul room. Your fists pound against my door, begging and pleading with me to let you in. But that is something I cannot, and will not, do.
/Yami, please, don’t do this to me./
I feel wetness upon my face at your heartbreaking words and I reach up a hand to feel tears. I can’t remember the last time I cried, nor do I wish to. Uncharacteristically, I curl into a ball, my knees pulled tight to my chest and my arms holding them there. I can still hear you banging on the door, your pleas becoming more and more frequent. But they no longer hold fear. They hold anger.
“I thought I knew you better than this, Yami!” you shout through the door as you continuously bang against in. “Friends are there to help each other! Why won’t you let me help you?”
Because, my aibou, I want to be more than just friends. I want to hold you in my arms and be with you for the rest of our lives. I want to be able to love you without being in fear of your rejection. The only problem is I don’t deserve you, Little One. Your light radiates all around me when I’m near you and you cause me to smile whenever I see your beaming smile. What you’ve done to my heart should be illegal, but I wish there was someway I could hold you.
“Fine, Yami! If that’s the way you want it to be, then I won’t stop you!”
I hear your footsteps cross the hall and the door to your own soul room slam shut with a bang. I flinch at the sound, staring at my still closed door and wishing with all my heart that I wasn’t locked away in this god-forsaken place. If only the gods would allow me to live again. I would give anything to feel you in my arms and bury my face in your soft hair that is so much like my own. And still, there is that strange feeling of rejection that may lash out at me if I choose to ignore it.
My hand shakes as I approach my door, the very door that I used to keep you away, that now begs me to open so I can see you again. Was I so wrong to fear these feelings that have stirred inside of me for so long? Hasn’t every being feared the day when emotions would control them and no amount of persuasion would control their reactions? I fear that now, Aibou. Maybe I’ve pushed too far and by doing so, pushed you out of my life for good. The handle turns and I gently push it open, stepping into the dark corridor that used to be filled by the light of your precious soul room.
The closed door seems like a finality of sorts, rendering the end of something. Pain fills my heart at the fact that you might never want to see me again. Are these the same feelings that passed through you, my Hikari, when I refused to open up to you? I collapse to my knees, knowing my choice was not a mature one and begging silently that the door will open and you’ll smile brightly before hugging me comfortingly. But the door remains closed to the world and I suddenly feel your presence leave the Puzzle and return to the outside world. The world where you belong, and I do not. Do you think of me, Aibou? For I think of you even now as I remain seated outside of your soul room, staring at the link to the only friend I’ve had in a long time.
/Y-Yami?/
My head jerks up in surprise. Perhaps it’s my imagination playing tricks on me, playing with my mind and causing me to go insane? A silent whisper by my ear and I look up in silent shock. You stand before me, a wide grin spreading across your angelic face as I continue to bask in your presence. You came back, even though I don’t deserve your forgiveness. Arms encircle me - your arms. I blink a few times as you snuggle against me, just content on being with me. What had I been thinking, blocking you out the way I did?
“Yami, why?” you ask and I hang my head at your innocent question that I know you were waiting to ask.
“I was scared for you, Yugi,” I reply, not totally giving you a truthful answer, but keeping my true feelings to myself.
I sense your confusion at my answer and sigh in defeat when you question once again.
“Scared about what, Yami?”
I close my eyes, not allowing my look of sorrow to rear it’s ugly head. I am so afraid, but if I tell you, Aibou, will you shun me like I’ve always feared you would?
“How you will accept my love for you.”
The silence after that statement is deafening, but you don’t remove your arms from around me, instead, they tighten. I gasp at this new turn of developments, and quickly turn towards you, waiting to see rejection or fear radiating from the depths of your beautiful amysthest orbs. A quiet understanding passes between us, almost as if our severed bond has been rekindled and burning brighter than ever. Is this real? Are you trying to tell me that my feelings are returned and something can be developed from the feelings we feel?
“Is that all, Yami?” you ask, embracing me and sitting yourself in my lap. “You have no reason to be afraid of my feelings for you. I’ve always thought you wouldn’t return my feelings for you!”
My eyes widen in astonishment at this and I unconsciously wrap my arms around you in hopes that I hadn’t misheard you. You snuggle your face into my chest, welcoming my hug and sighing deeply. My fear of rejection quickly disappears and my heart lightens from just being near you. The door to your soul room opens by your very will and the familiar sight of toys lining the floor of it fills me with a joy I never knew.
“Yami?”
I smile at you, standing to my feet with you in my arms, as we enter your room and the familiar warmth that I longed to feel once again.
A/N; Wow! I never expected anything like this when I started, but I hope you guys enjoyed it anyway. The part where Yugi was standing in the hallway, well, Yugi never actually went INTO his soul room. It was all a ruse to lure Yami out of his room and into the open. Hope that clears things up. R&R!
